we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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