My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
