all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
