Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
