She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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