make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
