Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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