I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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