I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
where does the pee come out of this thing
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
