Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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