Duck Duck Cougar?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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