I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
