You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
