I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize