Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
