His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
