I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
