I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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