no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
