just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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