Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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