The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
