Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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