did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
