Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sorry about my life...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
