I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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