Cold hands, warm shart.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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