she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What a dumb baby whore.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
