There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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