when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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