He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
