Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
