I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize