This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
