and you said cock pushups were impossible
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
