We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
