i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
