but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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