Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
