i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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