I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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