Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
