soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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