Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
