that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
