so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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