He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize