we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
