i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize