The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
