I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
