one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
