i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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