her vagine was all disorganized.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
