The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
