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also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize