Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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