You're so nebulous sometimes
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
