and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
