I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
