So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
