I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize