how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
