when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
