i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So much rum. So many feels.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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