did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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