i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize