who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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