when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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